Well, maybe you can relax. Anger is a normal emotion. It is not the fact that your teen gets angry that counts,
but what your teen does when he/she gets angry. It's the inappropriate responses in anger that you need to monitor.
It's okay when anger is a raised or intense voice. This allows the teen to share the anger that is inside. It
is good to get "our feelings out". It is not okay for anger to be intrusive, either through words or actions. These intrusive
actions need good parenting skills by either calling for a time out (cooling off period) or using an appropriate discipline
technique such as a loss of a privilege for the rest of the day.
Remember if a parent gets angry and shouts down the teens anger, the parent is teaching the exact trait the
parent doesn't want the teen to have. Usually a parents return to anger escalates the problem instead of solving the problem.
Stay calm, focused and be ready to set appropriate boundaries.
When the anger has calmed down, good communication and listening skills need to be put in place. Listen to the
teen. Maybe they needed to "vent" from having a bad day. Or be prepared to listen for something, or somebody, that has hurt
your teens heart and they are acting that hurt out through anger. Anger needs to be allowed in order to understand the hurt.
So don't be afraid of anger. Have the expectation that all members of the family deal with this emotion appropriately.
