Question: I am a single mother with a five year old son. How can I raise him to be a healthy man who has a good
masculine image?
Dr. Dobson: As I think you recognize from your question, your son has needs that you’re not
properly equipped to meet. Your best option, then, is to recruit a man who can act as a mentor to him -- one who can
serve as a masculine role model. In her book, Mothers and Sons, the late Jean Lush talked about the challenges single
mothers face in raising sons. She says the ages four to six are especially important and difficult. I agree.
A boy at that age still loves his mother but he feels the need to separate from her and gravitate toward a masculine model.
If he has a father in the home, he’ll usually want to spend more time with his dad apart from his mother and sisters.
If his dad is not accessible to him, a substitute must be found.
Admittedly, good mentors can be difficult to recruit.
Consider your friends, relatives, or neighbors who can offer as little as an hour or two a month. In a pinch, a mature
high schooler who likes kids could even be “rented” to play ball or go fishing with a boy in need. Certainly
single mothers have many demands on their time and energy, but the effort to find a mentor for their sons might be the most
worthwhile contribution they can make.
Dr. Dobson is president of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family,
P.O. Box 444, Colorado Springs, Co 80903; or
www.family.org or 1-800-A FAMILY. Questions and answers are excerpted from “Solid Answers,” Published by Tyndale
House. Copyright 1999James Dobson Inc.
